The Annual Rant Update

I have decided: this year there will be no update for the family how our year's been. 

No, nope, no way. This year we are planning on sharing an intense rant, because that is the most prominent feature of the year for us. 

And before you ask - yes, we have been practicing for it the whole year. There has barely been a day that my other half and I have not initiated an honest rant of some sort. And trust me, it doesn't take a lot to ignite the righteous indignation in our souls. 

The new road layout? Rant. The crappy driver in front of us? Rant. Food prices? Rant. Should I go on? I think I am about to start another rant (told you it doesn't take a lot to get me started...).

So, my dear family and friends, what is the topic of your choosing to get me started for your Christmas cards this year? Just say the word!

Fitting Room Inferno

There is nothing more humbling than trying on clothes in a fitting room. The picture in your head what you look like is crumpled and then trampled on. And then shredded to pieces when self-doubt creeps in.

These are some of the legitimate questions that come to mind when you look at yourself in the multiple mirrors, showing your flaws from every possible angle (why, store designers, why???):

'God, look at that saggy cellulite-y ass... surely it can't be mine?'

'Did I use to have love handles?'

'A spot? There? Really?'

'And I thought I had nice legs/ass/boobs, etc. (choose the area which has offended you the most)'

'What's with those bags under my eyes?'

I can go on, but I am sure you get the picture (as crumpled as it is). The question that pops into my head is - do stores really want to sell more, if they have come up with this torture of a fitting room, where the harsh lighting and badly positioned mirrors are the norm? Or may be they hope you are realistic enough about what you look like when you enter this infernal room.

Argh...

Halloween Bonanza

Yes, you guessed it - another October 31st was spent trick-or-treating. Pushing elbows with witches, ghosts and... bananas. Yes, this specific fruit is a thing this year - if you are the parent of a child between the ages of 5 and 10 you will know. Will know...

So, making way for my progeny and their friend to be handed a few (more) sweets I started a list in my head noting the most unusual and funniest costumes. Here are some of them - in no particular order:

- A pigeon - my child's friend, because 'they carry all sorts of diseases'

- The invisible man - a stroke of genius, not sure how the child was faring with their face hidden under a shirt

- A vampire carrying their coffin - surprisingly imaginative in a sea of otherwise 'ordinary' vampires

- K-Pop Demon Hunters creatures of all shapes, sizes and inspired details

- A policeman. Now I am mentioning this, because we all looked at the teenage boy twice before it clicked he was not an actual policeman. It was the swagger with which he walked that made him so believable

As for me - I had the idea of sticking a 6 on my chest and a 7 on my husband's, but he was late to the party and I just plopped some horns on my head. As for the 6-7... you will know if you have a child of any age. You bet you will.