Saturday, June 13, 2026

The Elusive Teenager

(Read in the voice of David Attenborough):

For almost 3 months every year, the elusive teenager is difficult to spot. They are experts at burrowing under their bedsheets, blending in with their surroundings and at pretending not to hear anything. As to what they really do under there remains a mystery, though giggling can sometimes be heard.

When faced with a request from a superior species (also known as the cleaner / feeder / provider of phone time), the elusive teenager suddenly becomes snappy, stand-offish and aloof. However, faced with someone higher in the food chain, their demeanor undergoes slight change and with a lot of peculiar noises (mostly huffing, puffing, mumbling under their nose and in more extreme cases - grunting) they leave the safety of their bed.

One can tell they are out of their comfort zone by the slouch of their shoulders and the shuffling of their feet. Finishing the task specified by the superior species usually takes longer than needed, is always accompanied by low guttural sounds and sometimes also by a slammed door or two. 

Their behavior, however, undergoes a drastic change when the elusive teenager wants something from the superior species. Their voice pitch changes, becoming a lulling purr and their body language shows they are now open to a short hug or a peck on the cheek. 

In conclusion, it must be mentioned that this behavior of the elusive teenager is definitely not uncommon during that specific time of the year. It is seen in almost all members of the species, to the constant annoyance and exasperation of the superior species. 

Damn summer holidays.

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